Thursday, January 31, 2008

The pressure : Do u feel it?!

Do you feel the pressure?. The pressure of carrying 'it' with you all through the day!!. The need for eliminating 'it'. 'It' makes you starve. 'It' makes you run. I have 'it' in me. Do you?.

*Gazing at the computer with fingers pointed towards the screen*

Yeah?. Join the club. I am fat and so are you. *proud smiles*

For all those who dont feel the pressure,

You are probably thin. Either that or you are fat, married and probably, you dont give a damn to what the world thinks about you and regard RAKHI SAWANT as the sexiest woman on earth.

I have always been lousy at sports. Though I Kinda catch them on TV, playing out in the open has never been my kind of activity. But there are times in life when you wake up in the morning with the feeling that you have a guinea pig tied up to your torso, especially when you are 75 Kgs, short and feel that your jean zip does not do its fair share of cover up.

That is when I decided I would wait for the feeling to go away and continue being fat.

Muhahaha. Old joke. The last time I made a joke as remotely funny and cliched like that, my dog puked, my freinds gave me comments asking me stop trying to do "attempted humor" and I received 87634 mails asking me to roll over and die.

On a serious note, I decided its time for me to shed some fat off, and so went on to think about some of the most traditional and hackneyed methods of weight reduction.

1. Starve : Nope, This dint work as I have a mouth for eer...nothing in particular composition but for everything with gustative appreciation.
2. Dieting : Would rather starve than to live on a goat's feed.
3. Hit the gym : Show my fat to a crowd and get embarrassed. Never.
4. Running, Walking and rolling on the floor : Too much work, I am pretty lazy for that kinda crap.

And so, this is when I realized there are more important things in life than reducing weight. think, there is actually none, but who cares, I just cant reduce weight. :). But if you are someone who is desperately looking to reduce weight, follow 1,2,3, & 4 or even better, google for an idea.

P.S : See that 'Indiblogger' logo?. Looks cool eh?. Register @ indiblogger and get it for free. It is no way a token of appreciation or an indication of the standard of this blog. :)


Dogastray said...

Looks like some people love to have their few ounces on to themselves.. few years i called those baddie boys (few ounces) as insulation.. the thing that kept me warm ..

one more advice .. why dont u chose a chick and run around here .. that would effectively reduce your flabs..

P.S nice post !!

P.P.S -> hi we hate spam btw.. so why dont u take that captcha thing off ..

it say spamfuc lol !!

R said...

Bala here....Doogy proper dieting with some abs exercises is guaranteed for weight loss...Take tht capcha out,it disturbing.Keep blogging

MishtiZaa said...

see...being fat in is in no way a big deal...and yea you always ve better things to do than reduce blogging... is nt it better than REDUCING WEIGHT??? hahaha...:) nice post btw

Anonymous said...

Hey! hmmm where do I begin?
First of all I liked your writing style..Especially since Im also....well FAT....:)
All the crap about not to eat this after 8 pm or this before 8am..Is BULL...I just think that as long as you eat drink and have fun in moderation all should be ok :)
SO as long as it isnt affecting your health in any negative way..Wear your fat proudly... :)

guru said...

A very interesting post this time. I believe our man has started writing articles that would interest teenage girls. This clearly depicts the fact that our man is very caring and has developed a broad outlook (am dead serious).As far as i know the only safe way to shed fat is to join the hostels. I bet people would have never eaten full since they joined the hostels.

Our man has matured within days.

Setu said...

I agree with guru.. join a hostel man.. u'd be surprised how much u can lose.. btw, i liked ur writing style..

Mahesh said...

machi listen to wat i say... do nothing to reduce your weight...enjoy healthy..think better do something else...tin tin ti tin...

Suresh Kumar said...

doggy, stop being so proud of being fat. you lazy brat, cant run for a minute, cant tread a 100 steps without stopping,.... try to loose the spare tyre round your waist. it will do you a lot good

Suresh Kumar said...

gethu machi..... super post.......